You Dropped the “L”

Finally had that wild ENT appointment today… Sure, maybe the place was calm while I was there, but obviously there had been some heavy partying going on. The lovely silvery lettering over the check in desk read “Department of Otolaryngo ogy.” That missing “L” might explain a lot, actually.

So I was sent here first because I am always walking into things and falling down and sometimes get motion sick. This visit was a sixth month follow up audiometry and brain evoked potential whatchamadoozy. I think. I gather I am slightly less able to hear than I was six months ago, but in the same pattern, so there’s no reason to believe there’s anything growing on my acoustic nerves. I go back in a year to do that again.

Also, the very nice pulmonologist thought that the ENT ought to look at my larynx being a source of not being able to breathe so great. So the ENT, who… um, yeah, forgive me… is kinda the type of cougar woman I’d like to be one day… I’m sure she’s wildly competent and I know I’ve got her ear more than some other people just because I’ve proven to be unexpectedly weird (hell, I thought my hearing rocked)… But I have to say, I don’t feel like I can say much to her. In fact, I feel like she’s rushed to the point that she makes these almost too knee jerk judgement calls and I don’t feel like I can say anything to her. I don’t feel like it’s worth wasting my breath, which I am indeed somewhat short of for some goddamn unknown reason.

I don’t think she doesn’t like me, I think she is probably like this with everybody. It may be she hates all humankind, and she’s a nostril probing creature from Alpha Centauri. It isn’t personal. But I am glad that I’m going to a speech pathologist to work this crap out instead.

So she had to check my larynx. This is sort of cool, and I could tell she delighted in this… but I also was not a problem that I’m sure some people can be. She had this laryngoscope endoscope light thingy on a big flexible tube. She shot compressed air uber-chloraseptic in my throat via my nostrils, and away we went.

I want to go on the record… I am sure some of my problem is muscle spasming and irritation in my chest and throat. I am more sure because I would gladly go through having a long, flexible tube shoved up my nose and down my throat to get that stuff sprayed in there again. I still had chest pressure. But it didn’t hurt and feel all… razor blades in my lungs-like. It lasted for the ride home. Then the crap wore off.

Anyway, nothing looked amiss on the vocal cords, which means they’re probably just stupid and not behaving right… why? About a million reasons, from neurological to gastroenterological (I guess they used to think this was purely mental, but it isn’t, unless you count the idea that it happens and then people freak out more. I tend to get bullshit about it, but it might provoke the same response, as it is stupid muscle reactions mostly).

I get to see if this is happening, of course. Some time. I want more of that pumped up chloraseptic. That is all.

Before she commented on my hearing or anything, however, I was asked how my pituitary tumor was. Um. I don’t know. Every one says not to worry about that either. I mean… No, but I get the impression that maybe the size it was is somewhere they start to feel concerned, and maybe I ought to get a neuro/neuroendocrine set of people following along. On the one hand, it isn’t something you just rip out, and probably won’t tell us anything useful. On the other hand, it isn’t like I want to wait for it to be a problem. I mean, my sweet GP is twitchy on the whole “if it is any bigger it should come out!” line and I’m thinking… it wasn’t there a year or two ago. It ought to qualify as bigger now than it was. I’d rather have to watch for any ensuing pituitary hilarity than take out the tumor, mess it up (it happens) and either still have to watch or know that I have to replace every last hormone ever courtesy of the whole thing going pear shaped.

This is also the dear Dr. J at Dana Farber’s take. I think, however, I do want to keep a better handle (and maybe get a clearer history) on how it has changed.

I thought it odd that it was the first thing the ENT, who doesn’t deal with this crap at all, hits me with. I don’t know.

But I am off to visit the fine folks at Dana Farber shortly. I had to have them double check the appointment. For some reason, the lab work, normally done an hour or an hour and half before appointments, is scheduled for like… five hours before. I am less than thrilled, but I am guessing it is to have something in to look at in a timely fashion. But jeez. Not enough time to really get in and out of Boston or anything and while Boston’s a lovely city… I’m sick to friggin’ death of the Longwood Medical Area.

Sorry, docs, it’s not that I don’t like you guys… I mean, I don’t like anybody. Hehheheheheheh.

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