I At Least Want a Nasal Speculum Out of the Deal

I mentioned that it is actually kind of weird to have a doctor stand out as being exceptional because they call and follow up like they say they will. It is. I mean, why the hell should you get props for doing your job? I mean, it’s even okay if things are basically all right and you have a nurse or an assistant call… or as my awesome GP’s yearly physical form letter said, “Dear (insert name), Your pap results show no abnormalities. Please call if you have questions. (hard return, hard return, hard return, new graph)Also, your chlamydia and gonorrhea screenings were negative.”

I liked the “horrible STD” paragraph stuck on the end as almost an afterthought. Would I be allowed to ask questions on those if I wanted? I’d ask if it was just a “pick a paragraph and paste” form letter, and if so, is there a “you have an STD and probably had no clue and we’re just letting you know that you do. Bye!” option?

Anyway, the very nice pulmonologist called back as he said he would and was happy enough to be on speaker so Mr. Shoe could ask questions.

Short version: I am okay to exercise. I mean, yes, there was indeed a question as to whether it would be making things worse. It is not. I mean, the pisser is that it isn’t helping. The really nice thing was he knew that. I mean, he suggested I start up, slowly, very slowly, because it is a good thing, but the deconditioning was very mild (and that can happen in mere days… and since I was told I should really not push it in June and then we didn’t get any real solid testing done and back until… last week… Yeah. Of course.) The deconditioning was so mild and kind of not the problem that while I was cleared to exercise, I was not put on a program at all.

That’s just as well, as we know now neither deconditioning nor any overtly horrible heart or lung malfunction is going on. That’s not to say that there’s not a risk given something causing stupid vascular reactions and intermittent oxygen desaturation coupled with the tachycardia and high blood pressure. But nothing nasty is happening to them as we speak that would mean massive changes now.

So what the hell is going on? I mean… something was screwy on the last PFT after exercise. It wasn’t asthma. His thought is an upper airway/muscular thing.  I should speak with an ENT and a speech pathologist (no lie, folks, I talk weird and I drool and then I can’t breathe.)  Since I was seeing the ENT at the end of the month anyway for this audiometry test, perhaps we can figure out if and why my vocal cords or whatever are misbehaving. I guess any number of things can cause that. He said that was an option, unless I was just damn sick of tests and maybe I could give reconditioning a little longer.

I am sick of them. But considering when this started I was walking four miles a day (and had been for about six months) and I was still doing so when it became such a problem that I mentioned it to some physicians… and was told I was probably out of shape… I’m not holding out hope that anything I could do would ever be considered enough even if I could do it… I could see a throat issue being a larger issue in my chest (and hey, my ears). I don’t know. I mean, I also have liquid fly out my nose (not while I laugh, just take a sip and out it shoots) more than I should. Maybe not as much as before my thymus came out, but still. I guess that is a sign of a muscular issue or obstruction often enough — still didn’t keep the neuromuscular doctor I’d seen at the time from looking at me like I had two heads and say that maybe I should just concentrate when I drink.

Nope, shoots out my nose, the second sip… I am trying not to concentrate on my glass at all. Trust me.

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