2010 Called

For the record, I am composing this sucker on my phone. So if you see silly typos, it has a lot to do with my needing to trim my thumbnails.

This time (or thereabouts) last year I was walking into Dana Farber for a second or third visit. It was an interesting time. First, I met my cousin and her husband in the waiting room. Her husband was getting a second opinion on his lymphoma diagnosis (he is doing quite well. You go, man.) Incidently, it was also about this time my other cousin (this cousin’s twin sister) oldest son (in his mid twenties) was diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia. He has had a rough ride (and was in California at the time… so naturally was treated there) but is also doing quite well considering that… well, that’s a really, really shitty, variable, shitty, crappy, not to mention shitty thing to deal with. However, one year and a lot of nasty medical procedures later, he is coming home to visit. That’s a really happy thing.

Anyway, last year at this time, walking into Dana Farber I said to Mr. Shoe, “I am betting one of those tests they did was weird and in some completely assbackwards way.” It is just a feeling.

That was when we found my not lymphoma, but why the hell is there histiocytosis looking so surly in your hip muscle tumor.

Okay, first, I have that same feeling that I am going to hear something that somewhat originates out of left field today, but hopefully not that far out in left field.

Second, I know it is sad to appreciate someone in the simple act of doing their job, but the pulmonologist called yesterday – first day back from vacation – to say he had seen the full test report from my cardiopulmonary testing. He left a message (I was out with Penny, because somehow I feel I need to report to you guys). He said, nutshell, that everything was okay enough that I didn’t need to return his call urgently or page him. He did want me to ring in the next 24 hours with a time (within this week) and number so that he could discuss the results.

I called back and gave him a time when Mr. Shoe is here, so he can ask what he wants and not ask why I didn’t ask about something that I can’t imagine is relevant. (Poor Mr. Shoe. I am picking on him.) Also, I have a hard time speaking on the phone. Physically. And in some odd way, I think that might be part of what I am told today.

I can’t imagine what. I think the usual suspects are… while symptomatic… high blood pressure, tachycardia that propranolol sort of helps… not necessarily what they seem. I think it will effect my heart and lungs and we should fricking treat it soon, so it doesn’t damage them, even if we don’t know what is causing the shortness of breath and crap. I mean, they can do that. But for some reason, I just think I am going to hear that the test points to a muscle disorder… or something weird like my kidneys are backing up. Just… maybe explanatory but just plain weird.

We’ll see this evening. At this point… just try something. I could give a rat’s ass what it is except for the fact that knowing what it is helps get something done. 

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