There are things you just shouldn’t feel dumb about doing but you just do. For instance, through some weird inexperience on the part of the scheduler (at Dana Farber) and the schedulees (us) my follow up appointment was set for five weeks instead of the usual four.
I figured no big deal. A week. What’s a damn week, right? And the prednisone helps a little, and it’s a week, it’s not like… months. Or years.
Prednisone makes me feel much more with it. This is awesome because I don’t like the feeling of not responding appropriately to anything life might throw at me. For instance, it is, believe me, a really good thing to be able to recognize pain and discomfort and prioritize it based on likelihood of being a real threat, a mere annoyance, or some linkage thereof. The bad news is I have a lot of ominous sorts of signs (I was aware of them, but had no energy to bother) that I still can’t quite reconcile with what we know. The left sided kidney pain, swollen legs and eyes and weird blood pressure stuff – related? Related to the diabetes insipidus (probably not)? And my damn skin and ears and eyes oozing – is that related to the diabetes insipidus? (Probably?)
Not to be overly graphic, but the skin stuff is just nasty. I mean, annoying, mostly, except that it is screwing with my hearing. It doesn’t even seem like it is inside my ears… more on the frontal area around my ears and eyes and jaw line, and of course behind my ears and my neck. It isn’t dandruff, but there are big dime sized dried up bits of… oil that just bust off and take little oily stringy friends. It doesn’t itch until it gets stuck in your hair and holds it down and then you get that horrible crawling feeling.
So I had to call and ask if maybe we could move my follow up to the four week mark. I felt like a dork. I mean, this is going to take time to get better, and what’s a week (and clearly prednisone ain’t enough). And I feel like a jackass asking to squeeze in earlier with an oncologist. Why? I mean, I need to see one obviously… but it is just one of those things you feel silly about. A week is a long time and it is no time at all.
Anyway, we are moved up and I hope that gets us a good seven days ahead. BTW, I love them at the Farber.