Never trust a lying cake. And never, ever, let the guy at the bakery counter not answer (and just start working) when you ask whether what you want written on your cake will fit… Because even if he’s got a strong work ethic, if he’s not concentrating on the fact you’ve asked him a non-rhetorical question, he’s probably not including some pesky words or letters, either. In this case, however, it just made the cake more friggin’ awesome.
So Friday came and went and I thought really someone at Brigham and Womens dropped the ball on calling me back about the biopsy results. I mean, c’mon. But since I see the guy at Dana Farber tomorrow, I wanted to know we were hauling in for a reason because… well, maybe the biopsy pathology wasn’t back yet. That would be a waste.
So I hadn’t heard, and I called Dana Farber (personally, on his home phone line. I asked how young James Fund was doing… The stupid joke that never gets old). Turns out, the pathology just came back. Just came back like today… Further evidenced by Brigham and Womens calling this afternoon to set up an appointment to discuss the results.
I do not know. In fact, I told Mr. Farber (who was a woman, and not named Dana or Farber) that I just wanted to know if the results were in, and I really didn’t want to know what the hell it said. I am glad right now that my appointment was set up before the biopsy was re-done, because if the orthopedic oncologist said to come in tomorrow (which I know damn well he would if I had as of yet returned the call) I would probably be having more of a friggin’ cow. Because I am surprised I am somewhat cowing out.
Let’s face it, getting a call about your results within 24 hours or at the tail end of a report time (or even past that point) is never really, um, normal. The cute nerd surgeon said it would take a week (Monday to Monday). It has taken two weeks, but even if you factor out weekends and holidays, it is the longest report time you might expect. So it could mean that they needed a second or third set of eyes. It could mean it needed some detailed or reflexive work up (because it wasn’t what you’d think) and then more eyes. It could mean they played spot the Magic Eye picture in the colorful cells with my slides all week and then finally someone wrote it up. But it probably means nerd surgeon was right and they could work with the stuff he pulled.
Here’s the question: Do I think it makes a damn bit of difference if I am having a cow right now? No. I mean, I am glad my bovine is minimal. I am glad it seems the sample was good and possibly there was a result that leaves at least two pathologists no longer on speaking terms with each other because they had such a deep seated, passionate disagreement on what they saw. Or maybe they agree that it is something — the same thing — and that we can deal with it accordingly. I hope in any case, it doesn’t suck any more than it has to.
Have some cake.