The Grass is Greener When You Keep the Cats Off Your Lawn

Well, okay, I know Penny and Norman are quite capable of killing patches of lawn (well, maybe not Norman, he usually manages to lift his leg on Penny, or me, or a squirrel or… it’s uncanny), but there are few things that are as nasty as cat spray.  One of those things would be snake vomit — believe me, smell it once, and you can go in a room packed to the gills with poo-flinging monkeys, completely pissed off skunks, and a few warring tribes of badgers and porcupines, and if a snake has puked there in the last week, that’s what you would pick up on first. And the other distinctive stink — if you’ve ever been dehydrated, really dehydrated, you’ll probably know what I mean.

The odd sensation — it is not exactly an odor — that there’s been a massive ammonia spill somewhere in your nostrils.  I just am kinda thinking about that because of Bret Michaels described “minor setback” — hyponatremia — that occurred after his major ass setback known as a brain hemorrhage.  Let’s put it this way: that’s what happened to me shortly after the old thymus was pulled, and I imagine that  if you’ve already had your brain bleed out that a really dangerous situation such as that can become potentially deadly even faster.

And man, when doctors say they can tell low blood sodium when they see it — they’re full of it. I mean, because if you’re convulsing on the floor or suddenly in a coma or go into cardiac arrest — I don’t think that counts, really. I love my GP because she didn’t really think that was going to pan out like that at all (nor did she claim to), but she knows me enough to realize that if I didn’t think it felt right — and it didn’t feel like the normal “after a procedure” unpleasantness, it probably wasn’t.

Anyway, was never a fan of hair metal, but you’d have to be an ass not to feel for someone in that situation.  Especially when something that can cause seizures that go status quickly, and can lead to coma and death if not corrected in a timely (yet responsible) manner is described as a “minor setback” in light of other conditions. I feel for everyone there, patient, family, and medical team. Because you can’t even go and right that level too fast…

If I worked in medicine, I’d want to be a pathologist. You can sit disconnected in your lab, lighting up cells with radioactivity, snake venom, lamb’s blood, tongue of dog and eye of newt. And you have neat gadgets. You’re like Spiderman and Batman all in one.

Meanwhile, in my world… Waiting to see a dermatologist, and my sweet GP is annoying the oncologist again (I feel like a jackass, will that poor man be rid of me?) on how to approach testing for a set of disorders that’s not a cancer per se — it’s an immune screw up — but it’s not an immunologist thing. Sometimes dermatologists deal with it, but not usually.  But usually hematologists deal with it, even though it’s not… Let’s put this in librarian terms: it has MeSH headings that refer just about everywhere, but as the classification is refined in each category, it is clear it doesn’t belong strictly in any of them. That about sums up why this has been a challenge to get dealt with, even when all the doctors started agreeing wholeheartedly something was very wrong.

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